2. Pain is a great motivator

My name is Dean Andrews and I don't like pain.  I admit it.  Not my friend.  Like to avoid it whenever and wherever possible. 

It's why I slow down when I see a state trooper at the side of the road.  I feel the lump in my throat as I pass by going a few too many miles per hour over the speed limit.   I hold my breath for extended seconds waiting, casting frantic glances in the rear view mirror.  Flashing lights means pain.   I'm in trouble.  Financial pain of a ticket, possible increased insurance rates, probable emotional pain of explaining said ticket to my wife. 

It's why I now wear ear plugs while riding my motorcycle.  Listening to music brings me incredible joy in life.  Music is probably at the very top of my joy list.  Last August, I began experiencing hearing issues- my ears got really sensitive to noises like utensils clanking.  Working from home, the audio from video calls on my computer became piercing.  This was after I went on an all-day motorcycle ride with friends without wearing ear plugs.  This was a shot over the bow for hearing loss.  I panicked.  What if this naked-ear day bore permanent hearing loss?  The fear of never again being able to participate in my listening parties (great songs played on great speakers at great volume) motivated an immediate change in behavior, and I started wearing ear plugs whenever I rode.  Seems better now.  Phew.  Dodged a big ol' bullet on that one.

 Image courtesy of Dean Andrews

It's why I'm always the most consistent and disciplined about workouts and physical therapy when my body is in pain.  We all experience pain in our bodies.  Part of my story involves spinal stenosis that started in my 30s.  I have narrowing of the spinal canal and have little margin for error before I get pain and numbness down my right side.  Not fun.  I know now through trial and error what behaviors to stay away from to avoid the pain- no pushups, don't lift too much weight over my head, and if it starts acting up, take a drug that dulls nerve pain.

We all have different coping behaviors for pain in our lives.  And of course there's different types of pain.  Physical pain, relational pain, emotional pain.   And a myriad of coping behaviors to alleviate the pain.   Man, pain can be a great teacher in our lives.  But most of all, I find pain to be a great motivator.  Who wants to take the time to go to physical therapy appointments or acupuncture?  Well, when I had lower back pain for nine months straight two years ago, I sure as hell made the time to go to those appointments to get out of the pain.   Pain is your body talking to you, that something's off.  As Erinda Martin, my favorite online yogi says "Your body never lies to you.  Your mind might create stories, but your body is wise beyond words".

Pain at Work

Pain can be a tremendous motivator in the workplace. As Tears for Fears says in their Good Night Song, "I thought about it once or twice, but nothing ever changes unless there's some pain".

The juiciest post-mortems I've been a part of at Microsoft were when something really went south, and customers (and/or the bosses' boss) weren't happy.  That's when you see some intense motivation to change the system, change the process, right the ship, avoid the pain.  'Never again' is the cry. Case in point- y'all likely heard of the Boeing MAX 9 jet whose side panel blew out mid-flight over Oregon in January 2024.  Fortunately, no one died, but guaranteed that Boeing went to great lengths to fix their QA process after that debacle.  And yes, heads rolled.  The VP of the MAX 737 program was fired a month later.  If you haven't seen the SNL skit poking fun at the incident, it's hilarious and worth two minutes of your life.  New corporate slogan: "Alaska Airlines.  You didn't die, and you got a cool story." 

Pain can also be a way to move you out of a job on your own accord- if working with your current manager causes you enough pain.  That lead me to leave my emerging media role to move to user research.  

Painful relationships with co-workers (ever had one of those?) can lead to healthy confrontation, understanding, resolve, and ultimately a better environment that creates better outcomes-- if you lean into it.  I could wax on about this topic, but will save for another time. Pain can just be painful, or it can be a catalyst for positive change.  Your choice. 

Without Pain

Without pain, it seems there's this gravitational pull towards mediocrity, getting soft.   You have to really fight it.  Without pain, my motivation to work out wanes.  My attraction to sugar is harder to resist.  I more easily fall off the wagon.

The Old Testament of the Bible is replete with stories of the value of pain in restoring relationship and health in life.  God would bless the nation Israel, who invariably would then get soft and lazy within their peace and safety. They'd walk away from him, get in trouble, experience pain, and then come running back to God and his ways and his love.    Pain is that signal that sum'thin ain't right. 

Side note: I don't believe pain in life was part of God's original plan, and my future hope based on God's plan spelled out in the Bible is a new heaven and earth where pain won't be a great motivator, because there won't be pain.  (My finite mind can't wrap my head around that concept because pain is so fundamental to our existence in this life). 

Safety and Comfort

I like the analogy of myself as the frog swimming in the kettle.   As long as the water is warm and comfortable, I'm generally happy to float around on my back in that kettle.   The water has to get really hot for me to jump out. Safety and Comfort are what we as humans long for.  At least it seems to me that's what most folks desire.  It's like we're all on a journey to find our way back to our mother's womb where we were first formed in that warm, safe, fluid-filled sac.  Or into the arms of a loving heavenly Father, and a place like heaven where there is no pain, no suffering, no death, no loss . Maybe that's what I long for.  But when it starts to rain, I grab an umbrella or a hooded jacket (since I'm from the Pacific Northwest) so I can be comfortable.  We strive, strive, strive to make good money so we can have a nice house with a security system so we can be safe and comfortable. 

Joy vs. Pain

Joy is a great motivator too.   Or at least I thought it was.   I get great joy from cruising and bouncing along in the skiff of my sister and brother-in-law's boat.  The wind in my hair, the wave-jumping, the exhilaration. I'm almost giddy.  See the photo on my About page; that's the feeling.  At the start of the last boat trip we went on a couple years, my bro-in-law informed me that we weren't going to be able to use the skiff because it needed a long overdue oil change.  I was devastated inside.  I immediately sprung into project manager mode. This was a problem that had to be solved.  I went to great lengths to find a dude that could change the oil at the next marina, so I could feel the joy of the skiff.   And I did.  I was motivated by joy. I told this story to a woman I sat next to on a recent flight to California (I swear she was a therapist, though I never asked her what line of work she was in).  She challenged me that it wasn't motivated by joy- it was motivated by the pain of not being able to experience the joy of riding in the skiff.  

Her respectful pushback on my assertion took me aback.  Is this an example of perspective, of whether you see life's glass as half full (joy) or half empty (pain)? Is my primary driver avoidance of pain?  Would I rather not feel joy or not feel pain?  I think I'd rather not feel pain.  So there you go.  

Pain is a great motivator, and it's also a very reactive way to live

I want to be proactive, to work towards something positive, something important.  Not just to live in the absence of pain.  It's why I'm working out 22 days a month now, so I can be healthy and active as long as possible.  Yes, to not be in pain, but that's like the bare minimum drive. As my workout mentor Tony Horton says "you gotta know your why."  Why are you working out consistently?  From the positive, life-giving angle, I want to have the most amount of daily creative energy. To be the best creator I can be. To play tennis, ride my motorcycle, work in the yard. To be fully there for my wife and daughters, and new grandson. 

I'm impressed by people who show up to work daily with positive energy and creativity to solve human problems and make other's lives better- not because of an avoidance of pain if they don't, or a response to pain, but because they are full of creativity and passion.   That's the kind of human I want to be.  Why did Mother Theresa feed all those orphans in Calcutta, relieving suffering and bringing life to those who didn't have much of a shot at it?   I believe she was motivated by love and creativity, not motivated by fear and pain.   That's it.  That's the difference.   I want to live motivated by love and creativity, not fear and pain.  But at the end of the day, yeah, pain's still a great motivator.